Self Harm
"Everything hurts so much inside and my thoughts are so overwhelming yet so distant,
whirling about and never leaving me. I argue with my rational self and the self
that's really hurting and doesn't want to carry on anymore. I do cut myself. I don't
cut to die, I don't cut for attention, I cut because it makes me feel better for
just a few minutes. It's like a drug- instant relief. Everything's okay for a while.
The world stands still and my mind feels cleared. It's difficult to explain. I want
to cry so badly sometimes, and I can't.and I literally ache inside; the feeling
is unbearable and when I cut myself some of the pressure and hurt from inside is
released. I know it's stupid; I know it's wrong, but sometimes it's the only thing
that gets me through."
 Approximately
25 percent of individuals who suffer from eating disorders also participate in self-harming
behavior. In and of itself the practice of an eating disorder could also be considered
self-harming behavior. Self-harm is defined as the act of causing self-injury to
one's own body. Self-harm is also referred to as self-injury, self-abuse, self-inflicted
violence, self-mutilation and para-suicide. Similar to eating disordered behavior,
the self-harming behavior is participated in to help the individual cope with, take
control of, block out and release unwanted feelings and emotions. The most common
act of self-harm is cutting. Self-harming individuals usually inflict injury on
their wrists, upper arms and inner thighs. The location of body marking is often
in a place that can be hidden to avoid detection by others. Other forms of self
-harming behavior include:
Cutting
Burning
Scratching
Hair pulling
Hitting
Picking
Branding
Biting
Self-poisoning
Wound interference
Although individuals who self-harm may have suicidal thoughts, the act in itself
is not intended as a form of suicide but rather as a means of dealing with uncomfortable
emotions. In essence, self-harming behavior is a dysfunctional coping mechanism.
Self-injury's goal is to help the individual dissociate from the immediate tension
they are experiencing. Self-harmers speak about feeling overwhelmed with uncontrollable
emotional thoughts and beliefs that are excessively painful. Unable to face this
dire pain, they channel the uncontrollable pain into a different type of pain. One
that although is still painful, seems to them understandable and more importantly,
controllable. Through self-harming behavior, the real feelings are temporarily avoided
and replaced by the new distracting pain. The pain from self-harming, although it
hurts, is a familiar pain and not mysterious and scary like the original emotions
and feelings. Some individuals who self-harm describe overall feelings of numbness
and not belonging. For them the act of seeing their own blood when they self-harm
helps them to feel alive and not dead inside, confirming their existence. Self-harming
can also serve as a form of self-punishment for those who feel an inner sense of
shame and guilt. Besides the obvious physical problems that self-harming causes,
the problem with self-harming behavior is that the original pain is only temporarily
deflected and never addressed. Since the original issues have only been avoided,
the unknown frightening pain returns and even intensifies sending the self-harmer
back into the vicious cycle of self-abuse. There can also be an almost addictive
quality to self-harming. For some the act releases endorphins, the body's natural
defense to pain, into the bloodstream causing an almost numbing or pleasurable experience.
Most individuals who self-harm tend to be hard on themselves, perfectionists, have
difficulty with expressing themselves and dislike their bodies. It is difficult
for someone who self-harms to admit to someone about their self-injury because of
the guilt and shame they feel. Self-harmers usually keep the behavior secret and
feel like they are "crazy" and inherently bad. These individuals are reticent to
ask for help because they are fearful that because they self-harm, they may be forced
into a locked ward and held against their will. In actuality, self-harmers are sane
individuals who have fallen into a maladaptive coping style to address their unbearable
emotional pain.
Rader Programs understands the special needs of eating disordered individuals who
self-harm. We are able to address the self-harming behavior in a supportive and
empathic environment. Through treatment, we are able to teach the individual how
to get through difficult emotions and feelings without the need to self-harm. Rader
Programs can help the individual redefine the feelings and develop and then implement
effective coping mechanisms to loosen the hold self-harming has on the individual's
life. With the existence of new coping skills, the individual now has alternative
choices to self-harming and no longer feels hopeless and helpless.
For more information or to arrange for a free confidential consultation, call
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